Short Story

Oh hey!

It's been a while! Apologies- that whole moving halfway around the world thing took up a bit of time!

As well as Teaching English and being an occasional food critic- I enjoy writing some fictional stories.

The following was my entry into the NYC short story competition 2023.

Not really the kind of style or genre I would choose, but that's why it's a competition.

I had to use the following prompts:

Genre: Crime caper

Character: Proud Mother

Setting: Kindergartenn.

I hope you enjoy, Billy and The Squirrel :) 

Billy and The Squirrel

 

Synopsis:

Sick of being bullied and looked down on, a kindergarten student and his mum plan their revenge on his classmates, fellow teachers, and class teacher.

 

 

 

Blueprints

The atmosphere was tense as the two adults looked at each other, sizing each other up, trying to anticipate how this meeting would go. Billy looked down at the floor, shuffling nervously. This was the second time his kindergarten teacher had called his mum to a meeting about his behavior - his fifth birthday party a few days ago seemed a distant memory. His mum Carol continued to eyeball the teacher, Miss Perkins, with neither of them speaking. Both adults seemingly wanted the other to speak first. Finally, the teacher spoke, forcefully cutting the tension. “SO” she boomed, “I’ve called you here today to discuss Billy’s poor behavior. He is always late, and rarely hands his homework in - in fact, the last time he submitted homework, he submitted these.” She laid out a series of blueprints for what looked like a heist. “Yours I presume?” the teacher asked Carol, referring to her past as an ex-con.  Carol stared at Miss Perkins, how dare you, she thought to herself.  However, she answered with decorum: “No they are not mine - Billy, can you explain these?”

Having been called into the conversation by his mum, Billy began his story in earnest. “It started after Dad left Mum, it was so hot that I needed to open the window, and a squirrel kept pinching my homework. I wanted to capture him, so I made those plans. It’s the truth Mum, honest!” Carol gazed at Billy, struggling not to laugh at his story. She loved her boy so much yet was still annoyed she had been called in by his kindergarten teacher. Who does she think she is? Carol pondered to herself. Finally, she addressed Miss Perkins. “Well, there you go - my boy has been completing his homework but has been the victim of a campaign of hate from a local squirrel. Come on Billy, we are leaving.” With that, she grabbed Billy and made sharply for the exit, leaving the teacher somewhat annoyed she didn’t get a chance to respond.

As they headed to the car, Carol felt the glare of her fellow parents, overhearing things like “He’s gonna turn out a loser, just like his mum” and other such castigations. She ushered Billy into the car, it was all she could do to stop herself from breaking down in the car park. For his part, Billy, wise beyond his years, gave his mum a reassuring squeeze. Glancing at Billy in the car mirror as she drove back, Carol couldn’t help but smile to herself. Her boy might not be completing his homework, but he was a natural storyteller, and judging by the drawings she had glanced at, had a burgeoning talent for strategizing. The drive back was long, and as Billy drifted to sleep, his mum began formulating a plan. She was sick of being looked down on by the other mums and knew Billy was being bullied because of her past. It’s payback time she thought to herself, chuckling as she imagined getting revenge on the mums that called her ‘Crazy Carol.’

Waking up Saturday morning, Carol had to confess that Billy had a point, with the sunlight beaming through the apartment like a spotlight, they had no choice but to open the window. She decided to wake Billy with the smell of his favorite breakfast - bacon with eggs. Smiling to herself as she heard him stirring at the first whiff of bacon, like honey to a bee. As he sat at the table, she carefully placed his breakfast down - three slices of extra crispy bacon and three eggs over easy, just the way he liked them. She grew prouder and prouder of her little man every day. It wasn’t easy getting by without his dad, but he had taken every challenge in his short life in his stride. Preparing her own breakfast, she took a seat opposite Billy. Smiling as he greedily munched down his bacon, she decided now was the time to present him with her plan. It was at that moment that a squirrel ran across the windowsill. Could it be? Carol pondered to herself, before dismissing it as a humorous coincidence.

 

The Plan

“Good breakfast?” she asked, as Billy nodded at her, yolk trickling down his chin from the last egg he had wolfed down. He really was her world since Roger had left them. “Okay Billy,” she began, before launching into her pitch, specifically aimed at a five-year-old. She felt like a sleazy salesperson as she began: “Are you tired of being bullied at school? Tired of being picked on? Fed up with other kids making fun of you?” She could see him nodding along eagerly, which encouraged her that this was the right thing to do. She continued: “Your drawings were sooo good - Home Alone?” Billy nodded as he remembered getting inspiration from his favorite film, loving to picture himself as the youngster who takes on the adults. “So, how would you like to get your own back on the other kids, their parents, and your silly teacher?” Billy’s eyes lit up at that last mention - he hated Miss Perkins as she was such a meanie. Nodding vigorously, he asked, “What we do mum?” Carol gave him a big hug before laying some papers out on the table…

The Blueprint:

Step One: Gain the trust of Miss Perkins. Whenever she asks for a volunteer, you are the first with your hand raised.

Step Two: You are now her number one. For the upcoming school trip, she will want you to both give out the contact details forms to the other students and collect them over the next few days. Before you give them out, take the forms she gives you and replace them with these forms - these will ask them to pay for the trip by sending money to this ‘school account’ but the reality is that money will come straight to you and me, and no-one will know, because the trip is free!

Step Three: You have become such a good pupil that no one is going to question it when you offer to bring lunch in for everyone - but this will be no ordinary lunch, it will be laced with laxatives (which makes people go poop!). That’s how you will get back at the other kids.

Step Four: Having got both the parents back for me and the other kids back for you, all that’s left is your mean old teacher. Well, I’ve got a special surprise for her. She doesn’t believe a squirrel kept stealing your homework. Well, let’s just say she is in for one heck of a surprise. Leave this one to me.

Heist Heist baby  

For the next three weeks, Billy was the epitome of the perfect student. Offering to help Miss Perkins clean the blackboard at the end of class, playing with classmates at break time, all the while thinking to himself, hah, this is showing you! Of course, it wouldn’t be lost on an observer that he could just be like this ‘all the time’ but alas, there was a beach trip coming up, so he had to be the ‘number one guy’ as Miss Perkins had recently taken to calling him. Billy particularly enjoyed this period, as when he got home, he would write what he accomplished toward the objectives on the planning board his mum had set up. She would watch him squiggle on the board whilst supping her martini, not quite an evil overlord, but still, to Billy, it felt like they were in a movie, and he loved it. Carol also loved this period of bonding with Billy - although she often had to shoo away that same damn squirrel, who could often be found either standing on the window ledge, even on occasion, inside the window. The cheeky blighter! Carol thought to herself.

Finally, the day arrived when Miss Perkins asked her ‘number one guy’ to hand out the information slips, announcing to the class “Please take one of these from everyone’s favorite student, and ask your parents to complete the emergency contact details, then hand them back to Billy. Billy, it’s your job to collate them - that means tick off the register when you get them back and chase up any missing ones.” For her part, Miss Perkins couldn’t believe the turnaround in Billy’s behavior since she met with his mum. She smiled at Billy, thinking to herself that she had done a fantastic job. Billy took the slips from Miss Perkins and returned to his desk without handing them out, just as his mum had envisioned it. “Billy why are you not handing out the slips?” queried Miss Perkins. His mum had prepared him for such a question. Billy answered, “I didn’t want to disturb your lesson Miss, so I thought I would hand them out at the end of class.” He felt a strong twinge of guilt, although not understanding what the feeling was, he was only five after all. He didn’t like it. “That’s incredibly thoughtful Billy, you are such a good boy” Miss Perkins gushed, making Billy feel uneasy.

As the lesson ended, Billy was in two minds, but he loved his mum so much, he knew she wouldn’t steer him wrong. Using an incredible sleight of hand, the likes of which the late great Houdini would have been proud of, he dropped the original forms into his rucksack, whilst producing the forms his mum had premade. Billy gave them out to each student, one by one, staring every student in the eye as he did so, wondering if they were going to be mean. However, every student cheerily greeted him, with “Thanks Billy, see you tomorrow.” When he got home, Carol noticed he seemed down. “Don’t you want to update the board today, Billy?” she asked, putting her arm around him. “okay” he sighed, taking the pen from her. “Mum, are we doing the right thing?” Carol had never seen Billy like this. Concerned, she put on her most reassuring mum face. “Of course we are sweetie, the other parents are all far richer than us, we are not taking a lot - just enough for us to afford AC and maybe a holiday.” (Perhaps a new car too, she thought to herself). She checked her bank account later that night and was ecstatic to see numerous deposits from various accounts. Got ya! she thought to herself.

As beach day was tomorrow, all the forms had been returned to Miss Perkins by Billy. All the deposits had been collected by his mum. Steps one and two had been carried out flawlessly.  They stopped off at the local 7-Eleven after class and stocked up on sandwiches, cheese, peanut butter and jelly, as well as ham. They also got chips, biscuits, and juice boxes. Then Carol made a quick stop at the pharmacy to get the laxatives. That was certainly an adventure explaining to the cashier why she needed so much, but she managed to get enough. They spent that evening preparing thirty lunches. Billy and his mum, working together in tandem, “Pass me the cheese” she would say, and Billy would throw it to her. It was awesome, he thought to himself, remembering to drop a couple of seeds at the windowsill to make sure his friend stopped by later.

 

Paybacks a b

After a wonderful morning at the beach, Billy had distributed the lunches, and everyone was tucking in vigorously. Billy had his own special lunch, separately prepared by his mum. The same, but different. He looked around at everyone - they had all been so nice to him recently. He looked down at his lunch, before noticing Sammie running to the toilet - she was his favorite student and the only one who hadn’t ever been mean to him. He threw down his own lunch in anger and grabbed one of the spare lunches laced with laxatives, wolfing it down. He felt good about his choice, for a moment. Suddenly, his tummy started rumbling and he raced across to the ever-growing line for the toilet. It was like a warzone. There were two cubicles and thirty children, plus two adults laced with a hearty number of laxatives.  Legend says it is still talked about to this day - named the battle of Bridgeton beach.

Once again, Carol was staring across from Miss Perkins. “Why would you do this? I know it was you, I know you changed the forms to steal money and I know you did something to the lunches, but to even do it to your own son? They are kids for goodness sake.” Miss Perkins had shrieked at Carol, who was shaken for a moment, by the ‘own son’ part of that statement. Shaking it off, she decided to carry on with her plan. Rising to her feet, a power play she learned inside, she towered over Miss Perkins, jabbing a finger toward her. “Because you and all the other parents have never given me or Billy a chance, you wouldn’t believe him about the squirrel - well guess what - his drawings worked” and with that, she dumped the contents of her bag on the table - one dead squirrel (which she had got from a taxidermist). Miss Perkins let out an almighty shriek. “What is wrong with you?” she cried. It was at this point Billy came into the office, tears streaming down his face. “Mum, they are my friends and I like Miss Perkins now, she’s a good teacher.” Carol looked at her boy, he really was the absolute best of her, already a better person than she considered herself to be. She then looked at the cowering kindergarten teacher, realising how young and little she was. How could she do this? Instead, Carol realised that she needed to set an example for her boy. Carefully packing up the squirrel, she explained the entire heist to Miss Perkins, assuring her she would return all the money to the other parents, offering a handshake to the shaken teacher. Miss Perkins looked at the woman in horror, before softening as she looked at the little boy. She had to be the bigger woman. She shook Carol’s hand, before ruffling Billy’s hair, smiling at him. “Return the money, and I won’t report you. I’ll even speak to the other parents to smooth things over” Miss Perkins said to Carol with a smile.

Two years later, Carol and Polly Perkins often laugh about it over tea and biscuits in the teachers’ room. They have become firm friends. Carol has started teaching criminology at senior level, whilst Billy has progressed from kindergarten to Junior school. He has never forgotten his favorite teacher Miss Perkins though - and finally, his mum had a job! They can afford air conditioning, but he still leaves seeds at the windowsill every night for his friend.