100 word Micro Fiction!
I know, I know, longer than two weeks- but still the gap is shorter than normal!
Today's blog is my entry to the NYCMIDNIGHT 100-word Microfiction challenge. I have to tell you- trying to tell a story in 100 words or less- is not easy!
As always with these challenges, the genre, word, and action are already defined and you have to write your story around that, my group was:
Genre: Comedy
Action: Wearing a scarf
Word: Lead
So, without further ado, please enjoy:
''Confidence comes but with a scarf'' by Nik Frost
I wish I had your confidence, Kerry sighed. Her gay best friend was as forthright as they come, he always complained when his food wasn’t up to standard, he would send orders back- he took no prisoners. He always wore his favourite blue scarf, “follow my lead” he would say and swish the scarf extravagantly around his neck.
Ripping
open the wrapper- there it sparkled, she held it up admiringly, twinkling in
the daylight. Bursting into the restaurant to meet her friend, with a swish of
her scarf- hold it right there buddy- there’s a new scarf in town.
Fin.
I hope you enjoyed that, this was the judges feedback:
WHAT THE JUDGES LIKED ABOUT YOUR STORY - {2086}
There is a playful energy throughout this story that leaps off the page. The
dynamic between the narrator is as entertaining as her flamboyant, forthright,
and brash best friend. {1795} I love the detail of sending
orders back and taking no prisoners. Having been a server for many years, I've
met some people like this and they truly are forthright.
Wonderful, that she gets her own scarf and decides that this is the day that she takes control and attempts to take the lead. {1995} I love the idea that a scarf can create a new persona, one filled with confidence. And I also loved that last line, it made me laugh out loud:)
WHAT THE JUDGES FEEL NEEDS WORK - {2086}
It might be interesting to consider whether the narrator could have an even
sharper objective or even more of an agenda. If she has ulterior motives or
some greater focus, there could be all the more direction in this nevertheless
entertaining scenario. {1795} I'm wondering if there is value
in naming the best friend. This will help the reader better connect with him,
even while knowing him through Kerry's eyes. Giving an identity is key to
connecting the reader to the character. We know so much about him but we don't
yet know who he is.
Might there be use for a paragraph break between
opening the scarf and barging into the restaurant? Or is she right outside the
door of the place? If she's just outside, I'd suggest mentioning that. If not,
I suggest a break in the format to suggest different time and
location. {1995} The one thing I would suggest adding in, is
who gave her the scarf. I am assuming it is her best friend, but you jump from
her best friend straight to opening a present, so we need a frame around the
gift giving. As in: He recently surprised me with a gift. I tore at the
wrapper--it sparkled as I held it up ... and so on.
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